Some days I really don't want to hide behind my computer pretending there is no outdoors, especially in springtime. The birds are chirping and the days are much longer already but somehow it is not quite so perfect outside. Especially in the woods it is still very muddy next to some curious first bloomers who give their debut. I wish I could accelerate the time, just turning on the arms of the clock lifting that heavy dark winter coat from the fields.
We had an interesting spring experience with a bird the last couple of weeks. Out of teh blue or rather grey winter sky a bird decided to attack our bedroom window. He sat on some branches opposite the window and tehn he attacked his reflection in teh glass. Over and over again he would not stop and the window got dirty from his feathers, beak and the poop he delivered with each landing. We were afraid he might kill himself! After a while our fear made room for other feelings. A couple of weeks later and those early wake up calls each morning before sunrise, when the bird started his daily routine, we actually hoped he would harm himself. No, we prayed - he would break his neck at one of those attacks. He didnt restrict his agression to that one window after a while. He realized all tehother windows played the smae trick on him. We bought those black stickers imitating birds of prey and beautified our east facing windows where he had his fun all day.
He was not impressed at all! Then we installed nylon threads zigzag across our windows, fixed aluminum foil stripes on them but the bird had a higher calling. He switched to the west side and the north.... One day I decided to call the animal shelter, but they had no clue what to do, then I rang a station specialized for bird's wildlife. They encouraged me to catch the bird and bring it to them to see what his problem might be. I asked myself, if they would run some tests whether he had a certain trauma from childhood, or his brain was chemically imbalanced? I decided the bird must die! But who should do it? All our windows where by now covered in poop and dirt marks. The noise was something we didn't get used to at all and each early morning the plan to kill got more and more a fixed idea. So where do we get a good plan? The bird is cunning, swift, he can read teh mind. He saw us coming and off he was. He ate all worms from the lawn and was fit to fight 24/7. His digestion was impeccable the worms are a great source of protein and our nerves lay blank. One bird can ruin your entire life, I am not kidding! I remembered somewhere I had a pepper spray! Expiry date 2008.
Well, it should be ok for one small bird, what do you think? Well, he didn't wait for me, smarty-pants, so I decided to spray it on the window, he might pick up some of the liquid during his attacks? I turned the security lock and the pepper spray trickled like English water plumbing 5 cm to the front the rest exploded in my hand and ran down my fingers... Now I was convinced and then came the thought: it is the bird's fault! Have you ever gotten in contact with a pepper spray content? Nothing, nothing can wash it off, but do not dare to touch anything else, it contaminates everything else. Please keep your fingers away from your eyes! Ok, I survived, positive I will not use a pepper spray ever against a human being!!! This is serious stuff! The bird was not impressed, he toured around the house to all of our windows, the universe was against me. But the bird must die! He would die anyways because he had no time to mate and give along his genes to his offspring, thank goodness! And then he will die all alone ... the exterminator also declined my business. He said he never had a similar request and felt unable to be of service. My son played paintball for a while and he owns a gun. One shot and the bird is history. I tried the gun and was positive, he is from now on not allowed to go play paintball. This weapon in my hand was destructive, dangerous and one could loose his eyesight! Perfect! My plan to kill got definite!
I didn't kill the bird with the gun. What did you think? I was helpless and a bummer, a loser and scary cat and so so so angry with the bird, because I was sleep deprived and the windows looked like I was the lousiest housewife. The bird poop accumulated on all window sills and the little foil flags on each window reminded me of a labor in vain and a victorious vicious bird that should rather sing then fly attacks!
I got a text massage from my husband with a bird emojy and the letters:
R.I.P.
The rest is peaceful history! The bird is in heaven and today I slept until 6:30 – waiting for the bird who didn't show up! No bird attack, not a single peep, the haunting has seized, I am so grateful, my brave husband won the battle!!! I love him even more!
Preparation time 25 min
Baking Time 55 min
Oven Temperature 180°C
You Need
Dough
300 g flour
200g cold butter
100 powdered sugar
1 egg
vanilla essence or aromatized sugar
½ tsp cinnamon
salt
rhubarb, peeled and cut lengthwise if too thick;
I used one long stem
Almond filling:
300g butter at room temperature
4 egg yolks
grated peel ofan organic lemon
135 g powdered sugar
4 egg whites
130g sugar
salt
300 almond meal
2 tsp. Baking powder
3 tbsp. almond slivers
Make a crust and refrigerate the dough wrapped in cling foil for ½ hour. In the meantime prepare the filling. Mix everything on low to medium speed starting with the butter and the egg yolks, the lemon peel, cinnamon and the powdered sugar. Beat the egg whites with the salt and the caster sugar until shiny white, as if you make merengue. Add the almond meal, baking powder to the butter and eggs; finally fold under the mix the egg whites.
Remove the dough from the fridge and with the help of a rolling pin roll the dough on a floured surface into the shape of your baking form. Transfer the dough to your paper lined baking dish and make sure the sides come up to the edges. Now fill the form with the almond mix evenly and lay the rhubarb sticks in a preferred pattern on the filling. They will sink in when baked. As you can see mine did disappear completely. This dough can be perfectly used as well for other fruit. I tried apples marinated with lemon, cinnamon and sugar and it was delicious. Sprinkle the cake with almond slivers and bake in the preheated oven. If you use a round tart form, you can make a star shape with the rhubarb that looks lovely as well.
